Dear Audrey,
I'm a guy in my mid-thirties, reasonably good looking, good career, all the basics covered. I've been out of a relationship for some years now, and I've noticed a pattern developing-I get lots of first dates, but almost no seconds! This is true whether I meet the women through friends, at bars, or online. What do you think Išm doing wrong?-No Seconds, Pointe Claire

Dear No Seconds,
You don't tell me much about the dates (I assume the locations don't include Reno Depot or anywhere Serveuses-Sexy-ish), so Audrey will just have to conjecture, something she doesn't mind doing. Here's one question to consider: when you get home from the first date, how much do you know about your date compared to what she knows about you? Too often, Audrey has sat across from a man, a frozen smile on her face, her mind reeling in disbelief as he presents her with an EXTREMELY lengthy monologue, about himself, of course. Make no mistake: women want to know about you, but they also want to know you are interested, even curious, about them. That's just good manners, after all. So check that out. When you are certain you have been engaging and charmingly interested in the names of your datešs cats and their eccentric feeding habits, you will also be (but do you want to be?) verging on the golden prospect of date no. 2. Good luck!

Dear Wanna-bes,
I am a professional woman in my late twenties who just finished reading "The Rules", which I had borrowed from my girlfriend. We both would like to know what you think of the book---does it work, in your o-so-expert opinion?-Wanna-be Followers, McGill ghetto

Dear No Seconds,
I'm so glad you asked about the so-called Rules, a dating guide-book for women that has been around for nighon fifty years now. For those readers unfamiliar with the book, a few examples will suffice: according to The Rules, women should set an alarm when they speak on the phone with their intended paramours. This will cut the conversation short, at once implying a lively social schedule and preventing boringly long stories about the day's events. Similarly, another Rule states that women should never accept a weekend date after Wednesday, for that would mean they are too available and without other prospects. So what does Audrey think about this, you ask. Audrey finds The Rules to be unmitigated crap. Following them would lay a foundation of insincerity and deceit for a relationship, thus dooming it from the start. The Rules remove spontaneity and a sense of adventure and fun from a burgeoning romance, and without that, what would be the point? So, McGill ghetto girls, Audrey begs you: have the self-confidence and sense of humour to be yourselves when dallying with the opposite sex (and with the same sex, for that matter), and get out there and have fun.

Please send your questions to Audrey's email box: info@quickmatch.ca